Tell us a joke in this thread and win a snowbombing T-shirt.

3 up for grabs. The jokes that make the DSI office chuckle the most will win.

Comp closes tomorrow afternoon!

I'll start:

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they aaarrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Paahahah

Get your spuds in!

A Festive Joke for you all.

What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?

Their balls are just for decoration.

two dyslexics walk into a bank and say,

put the bag in the money you mother stickers,

this is a fuck up

A man walks into a pub and says, "Give me three pints of Guinness, please."

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone.

He then orders three more and the bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold, so you can start with one and I'll bring you a fresh one as soon as you're low."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too and we're drinking together."

The bartender thinks it's a wonderful tradition and every week he sets up the guy's three beers as soon as he enters in the bar. Then one week, the man comes in and orders only two. He drinks them, then orders two more. The bartender sadly says, "Knowing your tradition, I'd just like to just say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man replies, "Oh, my brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."

Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play
with them

Q: What is the worse thing a guy could do to his girlfriend during sex?

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

A: Call her.

Q: If god made the front of a womans body, who made the rear??


A: THE COUNCIL! Who else would put a shit hole next to a play area!!??!!

Couldnt resist!

Q: What's the difference between an egg and a wank?


A: You can beat an egg!

LONDON LAWYER V GLASGOW COP ( miss-match )



A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Glasgow copper.

He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Glasgow cops expense!!

Glasgow cop says, ' Licence and registration, please.'

London Lawyer says, 'What for?'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye didnae come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'

London Lawyer says, 'I slowed down, and no one was coming.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Ye still didnae come to a complete stop. Licence and registration, please.'

London Lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'

Glasgow cop says, 'The difference is, ye huvte to come to complete stop, that's the law, Licence and registration, please!'

London Lawyer says, 'If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my licence and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'

Glasgow cop says, 'Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.'


The London Lawyer exits his vehicle.

The Glasgow cop takes out his baton and starts beating the f*ck out of the lawyer and says,'Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow doon?'

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Tell us a joke

OWAIN-DSI

What do you do if a bird shit on you windscreen....?????


................Never take her out again!!!

A Jelly baby runs into the Doctors, red faced and very out of breath. The Doctor says "My, you look exausted what have you been up to?"

The Jellybaby replies "Fucking Allsorts"

has everybody heard the one about the canibal who dumped his girlfriend?

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time; and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink."

They tried it, and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon, however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."

Just entered a charity race for spastics and blind kids

I thought fuck it, I could win this!

What do you get if you turn a peroxide blonde upside down?



A brunette with bad breath.

haha AND the winners are:

E-droppa
Naked-J-Kid
billynasty

PM me your addresses and what size you wear and i'll get one sent to you when we recieve them!

wicked! :)

buzzin :-)