It's great to be a bloke because .....

Your bottom is never a factor in a job interview.
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You couldn't give a sh#t if someone notices your new haircut or not.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
Wrinkles add character and grey hair looks distinguished.
Your orgasms are always real.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
Your mates can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
You can appreciate great sport.
You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.
A weekend break requires only one suitcase.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.
You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be our friend.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original colour.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to clean your house if the electricity meter reader is coming.
You can sit in silence watching a football game with your friend for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with the kitchen scissors.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
The world is your urinal.
~~~~~~~~~~

It's great to be a girl because .....

We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous.
Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We don't need 14 pints to make us admit we love our friends and family.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).
We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her ass.
If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We can never have too many clothes or too much jewelry.
If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
If we're drunk some people will find it cute.
We can drink nice flavored alco-pops without people calling us wimps.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
We can spend a fortnights salary in one shopping trip without guilt.
We can admit we're lost and ask for directions.
Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We don't have to pretend to understand bizarre sporting rules.
As long as there is chocolate we have a reason to live.

I really can't be bothered to read all that.

eh?

I'm marrying someone 14 years older, he doesn't look stupid. He's clever...

ok id like to point out i didn't write these just found them and thought id put them here for everyones amusement

I think you fail to see the point of it. It's a joke!

?

Of course it's a joke. Ginger-Nut seemed to be the one who didn't understand it
They are funny...