I was having a discussion this weekend with a bird and we got round to talking about going for a shit, as you do, when all over conversation fails.
Anyway she appeared mortified when I told her that I wipe my arse standing up. She said that she wipes her arse seated on the toilet.

So I was wondering is it a male and female thing?
Or am I alone in wiping my arse standing up?

I stand.

I didn't at any point consider that people would stand up to wipe their arses.

Weirdos.

I stand and then inspect.

I stand. Use my left hand to pull my left buttock aside, hold my t shirt up with my mouth and wipe with my right.
I also like Stew use shit loads of loo roll to wipe and often use a baby wipe.
I also inspect after every wipe just to see how much shit there is left to clean.
Surely everyone inspects otherwise how else to do know when you're clean?

I inspect it everytime. Surely everyone must do this?

Thank you Tortoise for bucking the trend.
Do any other girls wipe standing?

I'd imagine only tramps or pikeys don't do that.

I inspect at every wipe also.

standard practice.

love it when you get an angel shit though.

That's pretty much exactly the method I use.

Me neither!!!! Fucking weird weird weird. Why tand up so your cheeks are together? Surely sitting down and leaning forward so the anus goes like this O, must make it cleaner and easier?


Perfect poo? Maximum inpact, minimum wipepage <3

Also referred to as "ghost shit".

I get completely the opposite. Not only that, I've had ring sting all weekend. Dominos pizza twice with green chillis, jalepenos, and red roquito chillies have left my arsehole looking like a japanese flag.

Yeah, you stunk the pub out at the picnic. People complained.

Same here, nicer in your own home. You can relax and take your time.

I bet you do massive fat turds girls. If they are anything like Don's anyway.

you just talk it.

:O I do not! I do little poo's that pop out of my tiny bum hole, gift wrapped with a sprig or lavender tucked under the bow.

My flatmate is like that. Doesn't it hurt when you time it wrong though and you won't be home for hours? I imagine you have significant amount of faeces "backed up", probably a fair amount solidified, hardened into your colon, from holding it on until you're "safe".

I quite enjoy shitting in public lavatories. If me and a friend visit the shit houses together we have a competition to see who can make the loudest shitting noises, the more members of the public in there the better.

I hardly ever shit at home, most of mine occur at work.