January is by far the coldest, bleakest month of the year. Everyone is broke, fat, ill and pissed off to be back at work.

So this is the cheer-up thread that is going to make the month that little bit easier. I want some funny christmas stories, amusing NYE tales, or any type of comments that may raise a smile. Surely someones nan over did it on the turkey and shat themselves? Someone must of spent NYE snogging the biggest minger in the club? Did anyone get any really hideous presents they had to pretend to like?

I had a fat chick force herself upon me NYE, if she hadn't been chewing her own face off I mighta been tempted.

January sucks, roll on Febuary, payday & funtimes.

The only good thing about January is that it's my birthday on the 10th. Apart from that it's shit.

On NYE I did however have a reasonably hot guy wanting to pull me, the only problem is that he used to be fucking my sister. It's really never gonna happen so I dunno why he even tried!

I did two momentous falls.

The first was in the Emporium I openened the toilet door and went sliding in i was laying on the floor but the door was still open and people from the dancefloor came to help.

The second was at gatecrasher in Brum. I was dancing on the tiered stage and slipped and fell fromr really high my back hit each edge on the way down and is now covered in cuts!

Of this year, yes - but you dont know Feb wont be worse........ or next December.



nope


nope


nope


standard


suddenly, i like january :-D thanks funk ;-)

My little cousin Alfie was caught weeing on his baby sister which I found rather amusing!

Keep it in the family etc.

He might of had your mum as well and wanted to do a job lot!

Nah I'm really not feeling that, the thought of it makes me feel a little bit sick tbh.

Anyone else in this thread ever had a family double whammy?

I almost read that as

he used to be my fucking sister

One of my mates who is a bit of daft cunt to be honest was in the toilets of a club and when the black dude in charge of washing peoples hands and shouting 'no spray no lay' wasn't looking, managed to take a shit in his mop and bucket :D

if theres any pics of my face on NYE thatll cheer everyone up

looked like fucking beaker from the muppets!

yes.... it gets down to 33..... celcius here.


lol, as if


granted



negative for both

lots of love,

matt

Sorry Funks but I love getting back to work after the new year. Yeah, it was a bit difficult getting up this morning but I'm always generally excited about getting stuck into a new 12 months.

Cunt.

I just spoke to a bloke called Graeme Beever teehee

Doesn't say much about you if she had to 'force' herself.

Cos you work all the time


Cos you work all the time


Cos you work all the time


You never leave!!

I've been really looking forward to work. Had my first two weeks off in about 10 years playing golf and eating/drinking. No stress and didn't smash it up on NYE (in bed 12.20).

I have worked 6 and a half days in the last 4 weeks - i didnt tell anyone because i wanted a nice relaxing holiday and some proper chill out time over christmas.