Started this rant in IainC's petition thread...really is more for here though, please feel free to add :)


I don't go 'shopping' at Tesco anymore. I just go to act like a retarded robot at their stupid fucking self-service tills which happen to be the only way to buy my shopping at 10pm in the evening now but I have a plan!

Next time the only thing on offer is a self-service checkout I'm going to do a big monthly shop to force them to open a till Wahahahahahaha! You TWATS! And if they insist on me DIYing it then I will just leave the trolley there and walk out :D

And if they insist on me DIYing it then I will just leave the trolley there and walk out

Ooh that'll show em.











I thought as you were repeating so would I.

Ooh that'll show em.

Maybe it won't but as Team Cunt won't be there to annoy them that will be my next best legal option.

I thought as you were repeating so would I.

Ditto ;)

Do I have to repeat too?

I'm not going to.............now THERE'S rebellion!!

I don't go 'shopping' at Tesco anymore.

I hate them. I hate their market dominance, I hate the fact that if the only place you are near isa Tesco, you eat the same things week in week out, I hate their deliberately mislabelled shelves, I hate the shelves where they accidentally forget to put prices next to the more expensive items, I hate their completely over the top customer data collection, I hate the mess the store is in, the laziness, rudeness and general unhelpfulness of the staff (Metro and Local mainly), I hate teh long slow queues because half the staff are usually trainees who have been left on their own, I hatethe fact I hate myself for going in there.

their stupid fucking self-service tills

Nooo, they are brilliant, their only redeeming feature. I work next to the Covent Garden branch, The Worst Shop In The World, in which any time of day it used to take you about half an hour to buy anything, so long are the queues. Then when they brought in the self-service tills, the retards were all too scared to use them, so didn't even try. The time it took me to go in there went down by about three quarters overnight.

It didn't last long though - now the retards have got the courage to try them, but they haven't quite got the hang of it, so it's back to almost as slow as it used to be.

They need two sets of self-service checkouts - one marked "Retards" and one marked "For those who know how to use them".

Asda self-service checkouts on the other hand, are wank. I think their cleintele are more likely to nick stuff, so the packing area that weighs your bag is really sensitive and if you so much as breathe near it you get that really anoying

U N E X P E C T E D I T E M I N B A G P L E A S E R E M O V E

And if you accidentally put your item ON the scale, it insists you have to weigh something and you end up having to call the staff over (which in Asda Walthamstow is a fucking challenge, I'll tell you) to cancel it before you can do anything else. And this is after you've waited half an hour to get that far because the previous customer decided to let her three year old try to scan the shopping.


And breathe...

I will just leave the trolley there and walk out

I've done that in Ikea Brent Cross at least twice.

They need two sets of self-service checkouts - one marked "Retards" and one marked "For those who know how to use them".

There has never been a time I have been more inclined to kick the fucking old retard of 80 out of the way than now at a self-service till!

Asda self-service checkouts on the other hand, are wank. I think their cleintele are more likely to nick stuff, so the packing area that weighs your bag is really sensitive and if you so much as breathe near it you get that really anoying

Other way round here, it is the Tesco machines that keep flipping out at you Grr! All I have is a vision of a miniature Lee Evans running around on the computer circuit boards repeating to himself "Blergh! I can't handle it! I really can't handle it!! Bleugh!"

I will just leave the trolley there and walk out

I've done that in Ikea Brent Cross at least twice.

So on a scale of the size of your purchase(s), who loses out?

So on a scale of the size of your purchase(s), who loses out?

Them, cos he no longer tells his mates to go there, they no longer see his Ikea furniture sitting in his living room and they never made a profit on his purchase - it in fact cost them money to get some poor bugger to put it all back on the shelves.

Yes it is a small dent in the grand scale of things but then that is what it is all about; standing up for your moral beliefs that the customer should come first.

When was the last time you saw Tesco open another isle because you have one person in front of you? Yeah they soon fucking ditched that one didn't they.

Them, cos he no longer tells his mates to go there, they no longer see his Ikea furniture sitting in his living room and they never made a profit on his purchase - it in fact cost them money to get some poor bugger to put it all back on the shelves

Still it's a small drop in a fucking huge ocean. If it really cost them, they would simply employ more staff, but the people walking out, to the need to employ more staff ratio obviously swings heavily in their favour.

Yeah you have a valid argument. It keeps Dave happy though ;)

So on a scale of the size of your purchase(s), who loses out?

I would have done if I hadn't walked out.

You know how it is in Ikea, you go round the furniture bit, make a note of the things you need to pick up from the warehouse, and you then spend about 2 hours buying pepper grinders and glasses and onion choppers and bathmats and toilet brushes and plates and all manner of things that you DIDN'T REALLY NEED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Then you get the warehouse and find that they've run out of the bed/wardrobe/shelves which were the only thing you actually came in for originally.

So you dump all the impulse purchases and go home.

See, it's not THAT irrational!

Tesco is evil - fact. Along with all the other big supermarket chains they are killing/have already killed independent traders and are souless ugly hell holes to shop in.

But lets face it, I'm a lazy c*nt so I shop there and their freshly baked, still warm triple choc chip cookies are f*ckin tasty!!!!!

I would have done if I hadn't walked out.

You know how it is in Ikea, you go round the furniture bit, make a note of the things you need to pick up from the warehouse, and you then spend about 2 hours buying pepper grinders and glasses and onion choppers and bathmats and toilet brushes and plates and all manner of things that you DIDN'T REALLY NEED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Then you get the warehouse and find that they've run out of the bed/wardrobe/shelves which were the only thing you actually came in for originally.

So you dump all the impulse purchases and go home.

See, it's not THAT irrational!


When you put it like that, there is NO argument!

Next time the only thing on offer is a self-service checkout I'm going to do a big monthly shop to force them to open a till Wahahahahahaha! You TWATS! And if they insist on me DIYing it then I will just leave the trolley there and walk out :D

quality. and next time i go to a resturant im going to order 3 grapes in a bowl of appeltizer.

its so easy for them to do but watch as they

a) can't believe it
b) can't deliver it
c) deliver when you threaten to leave their establishment
d) can't charge for it
e) overcharge for it
f) drop the price as you again threaten to leave

etc.

not that i would ever do something like that.

3 grapes in a bowl of appeltizer.

Why did they rename Appletise to Appletiser? It seems kinda unnecessary to me.

Why did they rename Appletise to Appletiser? It seems kinda unnecessary to me.

yeah fuck em

i'd like a babycham

jif was renamed to cif because jif means jizz in some other tongue.

jif was renamed to cif

I thought it was cos of how the "j" is pronounced in other languages (notably Spanish) - didn't know about the 'jizz' connection.. :)

We shop at Sainsbury's which is one of the only 'in-town' supermarkets in Southend.. We also have an Asda (Shoebury), Waitrose, out of town, Tescos (ditto) M&S - in town but who can afford to shop there? 2 Co-ops, both in town but one much smaller & in Westcliff.
Strangely, we also have FIVE MacDonalds, 2 in the high street, one drive through(by), one on the seafront and one by the airport.. Then a further one just outside the Southend boundary in Hadleigh..
There are a few Tesco metros, but I can honestly say I avoid Tesco like the plague..

yeah i hate anything to do with money.

fuck em all.

jif was renamed to cif because jif means jizz in some other tongue.

So when you say "I'll be back in a jiffy!" it practically means you'll off for a wank? LoL!