Simple idea behind this thread really no more than 8 lines try to be original and relivent. i'll start!

time to start some beef like a triple rodeo burger,
i know im better than the rest like tina turner,
but come back if you can try and diss me or poontang,
i'm sure i'll send you on your way like a boomerang,
so untill the next time when your return for more,
remember this.... your mums a whore,
no i swear it's truth shes been swallowin' rotten juice,
i saw her photo in a kings cross phone booth!

it's my battle thread
if you don't like it then join the queue for a battered head
it's the best thing since sliced and buttered bread
if you don't like it you're probably gay like spotty from super ted
classicly fantastic with more bounce than an ounce of elastic
radiate energy so powreful i could make Dot Cotton backflip
throw shapes so complex i'd leave isoselease puzzled
then prop up the bar while i have shots and it's got to be double!

I had the sense though to open a window!!!

Yeah I'll get you a double.. double quater pounder
You don't need no more drink you need to eat a burger
Let the fresh white bap soak up some of that alcohol
Before you wake up and realise that whilst out of control
You walked up to a copper and nicked his police hat
Pulled down ya shorts squatted over it and shat
Thinking it was funny slapped it back down on top of his head
He got the last laugh though.. as you've just woken up in a cell on a piss stained bed!!!

I bet the resonance of his voice recorded spot on with the spacious accoustics of his living room whilst he was laying down his bars whilst the folks sat at the other end of the room watching 'Deal Or No Deal'!!!

Oi fuck off it was changing rooms actually!

Changing Rooms.. damn those Scoth E180 VHS tapes!!! Watch out then fella!!! They might try and knock you up a soundproofed recording booth outta MDF, Gold Leaf, Tin Foil and Egg Boxes!!!

I hope so! but no that was taken time ago at a mates house who did have a good studio in his house.. he was loaded! thats me doing 7 days on the karaoke!

And there was me thinking you was straight out thuggin'
But in fact you were practicing for a night of pubbin'
Warm beer, salty nuts and a dodgy 'Darkness' cover band
By the time it gets to 10pm you're down to your last pound
Then you have a thought "I'm gonna make this my mission"
To find a pub that's hosting a cash prize Karaoke competition
Walk into the Kings Arms and use your last pound to get half a pint
Then sip it slow as you wait to get up on stage to do East 17's "It's Alright"

karaoke in kelly's on a friday night.
gangster's paradise is in the book. ;) you know it ollie.

As I walked in the shadows through the valley of death
I realised what the fuck is that? Jesus O-Man it's your breath
Either you aint brushed your teeth or your paste aint working
Or your toothbrush is old and the brissles are hardly scrubbing
Stop spending all your change on that god damn jukebox
Go to Boots and and use it to at least buy some mouthwash
Stop breathing on me, you're fucking up my vision and it's gone all blurry
A little bit of hygiene goes along way but boy you're just plain nasty!

I was rapping in that picture, but not trying to be a thug
it was a song bout, how tiring and stressful it can be like when in love
I don't claim to be gangsta I don't claim to shift keys
I just spit real shit about my life, helps me find inner peace
I don't ryhme bout the streets, or make out I'm cockney like skinner
I don't think I'm slim shady cos lets face it I'm thinner!
maybe a basic beginner, but I take the art seriously
and the few times I've been on stage, I'm gave it all my heart, fearlessly!

You're talking about ya loves oh blah blah blah
A one hit wonder wanting the life of a superstar
You're as false as what Kylie is now hiding in her Bra
I'd carve your chest open and leave you with a matching scar
You talk like you've got some big balls sat in your nutsack heavy
But they're only big 'cause you've got a tumour and need Caemotherapy
Perhaps come to think of it boy your life is imitating that of Kylie
So why not turn to pop and aim for number one with "I should be so lucky"

"Whats going on in the kitchen?!" oh its groover with his chicken!
crept into the pantry with his pants down to find some dead poultry to stick his dick in
now if shagging corpses is necrophilia, and animals bestiality
then thats a combination of both dude please explain this harsh reality!
I don't think they even have a term for that in the dictionary
but what the hell would I know I'm to busy slurpin listerine
cos my mission see, is to clean my teeth and even floss
and leave groover to fuck what was once clucking coz thats how the slease gets off!

took ages to write so I'm off!
Karaoke ryhme was good Groover!

Peace!

oh and the kylie one was cold!
but we like that on here!

O-Man you'll get fucked in the nought
Don't give a fuck man if I get caught
Leave you feeling ashamed, totally distraught
How embarrassing will that sound in a police report
Then to have to say when questioned in court
"He said it was a lesson I needed to be taught"
It didn't take long, it was all over rather short
Now my life is over, I'm a victim of sexual assault

Bo!

wanking yourself with your eyes shut aint sexual assult
shame your mum touched you up, its not your fault
garry glitter, michael jackson, men you call your idols
rimming little kids with your dads set of powertools
violence equates nothing except pleasure and pain
sadly you was a kid turned on by being beaten in the rain
your first wank, pre hoover times, so orgasmic
you wanna be in my gang, wrist action turns you spastic

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karaoke in kelly's on a friday night.
gangster's paradise is in the book. ;) you know it ollie

exscuse me thats my teritory

now ther u have it wo0 shits herself daily,
she wears dipers wiv the brand name 'big baby',
and jay t u like it finger licken i shud giv u a kickin for fukkin dead chicken,
but wen ure as ugly as u i suppose theres only a slim pickin,
ollie wer u really round ure mates or is that one of those booths u sumtimes find in the mall,
ure a strong rapper but the size of asterix the gaul,
aint been on in a while because ive been gone all weekend,
so why did u do ure hair like that Elysium is it 2 follow the trend?

Quote from J Austin.......

and jay t u like it finger licken i shud giv u a kickin for fukkin dead chicken,
but wen ure as ugly as u i suppose theres only a slim pickin





Pot calling the kettle black springs to mind
As far as looks go boy you are one of a kind
Your skin's whiter than the inside of Kate Moss's nose
Body like Jodie Kidd you should cover up with some clothes
You really shouldn't have worn that flourescent waistcoat
We know you just wanted people to notice you so I wont gloat
I seriously hope to god in that shot you don't think you're sexy
I've seen a used Tampax kicking it with more masculinity!