Now we have all had at least one bad sexual experience where at the time you either thought fuck no not me please !!! or thought omfg what the fuck is he/she doing ...........or better still looked and thought what the fuck is that?!?!?!

i want to hear them to c`mon lets get them down

Emzy now now u know what i meant !!

I know, i was only playing hun:)

Anyway im off to get myself a new arse hole ripped..

laters. xx

:o "I`m sure i fucking wont whilst you shove something that resembles a vice up my fucking fanny "

pmsl.

this topic is funny as fook

I think ive picked a good un here :)

Anal literally makes me cringe!!

lol init you clench ya cheeks to fuck n hope they realise they are going for the wrong hole i always just when they go for the wrong hole lol

once i grabbed me ex after work,lay him down on the sofa and just wanted to give him the best blowjob eva...he was loving it n all...."UNTILL THE WORST THING EVA"i got one of his pubes stuck in the bk of my throat and ended up heveing n bein sick on him...haha....so glad we'd bin together 2yrs by that time...made him shave after that the prick!!!

hahahha

made him shave after that the prick!!!

ha ha ha ha
wicked.

lol init you clench ya cheeks to fuck n hope they realise they are going for the wrong hole

i'd never try and stick it straight in a girls bum like that. she wouldnt enjoy it surely.
its much better if she asks rather than to surprise bum her

hahahahaha

Came back from a Rave with a load of strangers, took one woman upstairs. I was right off me tits and then woke up the next morning with a funny taste in my mouth. No it was not a man, but when i looked in the mirror, I had, what looked like a red moustache and when I checked my teeth I thought i was a vampire.

The worse thing was, I must have shagged her cause the sheets were red too. sorry but you asked.

i love suprises...

you dirty fucka.

i'll surprise bum ya if you want but i'd rather you asked for it.

once........... i was giving sum one a blowjob and as i went 2 swallow it went dwn the rong way... i coughed my lungs up... it was quite embarrsing ill tell you that... but life goes on:L lol

what looked like a red moustache

thats happened to me and quite a few people i know aswell mate. your not alone

once........... i was giving sum one a blowjob and as i went 2 swallow it went dwn the rong way... i coughed my lungs up... it was quite embarrsing ill tell you that... but life goes on:L lol

whahahahah...good girl!!!

you dirty fucka.

i'll surprise bum ya if you want but i'd rather you asked for it.

*whips the fuck out of Rcaine constantly

once, my girlfriend at the time decided she wanted anal. i wasnt really that bothered, never have been. anyway, at this point, her parents were trying to keep her away from me so the situation was a bit tense, still she convinced them that she had to come home from holiday a week earlier than them to revise or something.

Nows where it gets interesting; i went over early afternoon and she had drunk a fair bit of vodka, apparently to relax herself. so we started getting down to it, and eventually i went for it and slid my cock up her arse. at this point, she ran downstairs and came back up brandishing a carrot. yes. a carrot. then she demanded that i stick that up her pussy whilst still ramming her up the shitter. unfortunately, probably due to the amount of vodka she had consumed, she vomited a few times over her parents bedroom floor during the vegetable-enhanced sex. and spent the next few days attempting to remove the stain.

This is not even the worst thing thats happened to me lol.

End note: Kat if you do happen to read this; I've probably told everyone I know since it doesnt reflect badly on me :). That'll teach you for being a cheating whore.

it went dwn the rong way... i coughed my lungs up...

Did ya shoot ya load in his eye? :O

*whips the fuck of Rcaine constantly

i like

Oh, and i almost forgot my lil story :o
Mmkay so for some strange reason my ex used to like comin bk to mine from college to go to sleep.. Dont ask me why as she has the fattest bed ive EVER seen (whereas mine - a single :S) and when she was asleep i used to try n wake her up with a bit of dnb :P why? Guys, back me up on this.. women are most attractive when they're asleep rite? :D
So yeah theres me back towards my bed mixin away.. dint realise she was up.. she comes over n starts playin with me n that, next thing i know blowjob at the decks.. only problem was, where she was kneelin meant i cudnt get to my records..
I think it was a bit of a mistake to tell her that!!

As you can imagine, she was promptly up off the floor n back in bed lmao!

And yes, i slept on my own sofa that nite :|

i met someone who couldn't kiss. If you ever find yourself in this situation, don't let it go any further.

we went out for like three or four weeks, and when we finally had sex, it was just so rubbish. It wasn't until i already had a condom on before i realised it would be more of te same. Rampant biting (supposedly kissing) a complete lack of any kind of purpose when it comes to foreplay, and then she "shagged" me like a jackrabbit. No matter what i did to slow it down or try and be sensual or try and get some enjoyment out of it, all she wanted was pounding and for it to be over.

I have never split up with anyone before cos they're rubbish in bed, it seems so shallow, but i made an exception. Despite the fact that i really enjoyed hanging out and clubbin with her, every time she kissed me i cringed

OMG........nay1 ever been in the middle of sex n ya folks have walked in or u realise they could hear you...how fuckin mortifying???????????