I,m a arch nerd screwed up wannabe otaku kid still trying to find out who i am long after most have worked it out. Trapped in fear and stumbling in self inflicted darkness, one wonders if thou will ever find my way into clarity and self love. Yes i,m depressed and suicidal and i self harm but this is the only place i will shout about it. its my problem. Last year i stumbled upon rave music, having traditionally been a "rocker", but never been happy with such a tag. However it was mostly thanks to the discovery of that old chestnut MDMA, and it was only when i slowed down on them i began to appreciate electronic music properly. I have since started incoporating hardcore and other styles into my traditional rock, metal, classical, anime and fighting fantasy tastes.

You can probably tell i,m a poor (ex) english student. i mean poor as in failed my second year twice, largely thanks to clubbing and chronic MDMA use. I,m also on charges of mdma possession with intent to supply and could very well be for some old jail time. Little old shy inoffensive me still stuck with a 16 year old mind going down and living with a million chav lords? what is thou to do about this situation? well i,m going to make sure my bday is one to remember and if i dont commit suicide/get murdered, when i get out i,m sorting my life out. Get a job and pay those debts, start my uni course again and getting a worthy job that helps others and get myself in a position where i can party hard at the weekend and live a normal life in the week. Gone are the days of my MDMA binges, though i will still hasten to partake in the odd flutterings of mdma and ketamine induced celestial hazes and euphoric raptures. basically i will get wrecked, but only about once a month lol.

I,m trying to find out who i am. So people can expect, when i get the money, me trying to find what style suits me. hopefully i can find myself before the notions of buying houses and starting families comes to the forefront.

Oh what inane ramblings. Well ok what else do i like? i do not drink anymore so i mostly go out sobre(i,m staying away from Ecstasy for a bit). I love Anime, fighting fantaay and other video games, mostly rpgs. I love films and reading, shakespeare, keats. I really need to get back into my old reading haunts...i love writting to and want to be an author eventually. I like chess and poker, both masterpiece games that push your intellegence to the limit.

I love my friends, more so for me being convusingly shy. If your my friend then it dont matter if i dont say a word to you. your company means alot to me. My best friend is Rachael, who has stood by me through so much shit i,ve created. i,ve eternally grateful. My other friend on here is yaz, possibly the coolest girl to ever grace the planet.

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