i want every to see what going to ibiza can do for you on the left is my sexy other half matthew thankyou for making my summer amazing babe and heres to an equally amazing winter lets make it just as special :O) xxx



chicken dipperz!!! howdy all u crazy bum bandits hows it going? im not really that exciting but i do have a phobia of eggs as when i woz little my mum told me that they came out of chickens fannys which freaked me out! so as you might be able to guess im not a huge fan of easter really... i also get lots of stuff in my eye like the other day got hair in my eye got quite pissed off wen i realised there was a horse attatched to it! gutted! i hicup alot too which isnt helpful and im also passionate about my love for licking shop windows which i also extend to licking my mums back rear car window with my three dogs!!!

having a fanny as big as a sleeping bag can be hard to live with at times if you get to close you may get accidently sucked in and lost with everything else thats been lost too oh yes you thought that was the sock monster didnt you!!!

im not scared of clowns i dont know why people are to be honest i think there great big painted faces and all that! silly clothes and they make people laugh! i guess i like them because my bum works as a clown at the weekends...i wear silly clothes and have shit hair and paint my face all colourful and i knew having an anus as baggy as a clowns pocket would help me earn a living one day :O)

when you go to buy a house always check under the bath and the paneling around it! i saw a programme when i was younger and this poor couple had a dead woman under their bath for months before they realised where the smell was comming out from... another stupid obsession of mine is checking under mine from time to time...well you never know do you!



well thats me ^ when i had boobs! at the dirty weekender with the legend that is miss buff :O) any one that meets her will fall in love instantly! what a little gem :O)

im off to ibiza this year! then moving up north! nothing keeping me in kettering!!

im also working on my own online shop! i look like i get dressed in the dark and a have a thing for shiney and also colourful things so i wanna share it with other people...



^^meet my week days wives! who needs a boyfriend when you have this pair of twats in ya life! two complete an utter cunts! but then again id descibe myself in exactly the same way! norman i need a good rodding and faz no you cant fuck me in the ass no matter how many times you ask! fuck off!!! but thankyou for asking me to move away from you in the mornings yoru right i dont want to know if you have an erection and i most certainly dont want to touch it ergh!!!!

my favorite man :O) love youuuuuuuu kevin :O)


i cant be botherd with all you dj wannabies! do me a favor and take of the dj bit before your name please...if we see your name on a flier i think weve established your the same as ever other fucker and can mix to tracks together! well fucking done you!!!


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Counters

Music I listen to: Commercial Dance, Club Classics, House, Hard Dance, Funk, Disco, Jazz-Funk, Soul, Jazz, Rare Groove

Places I visit: London, Birmingham, Sheffield, Bournemouth, Northampton, Ibiza, Coalville