Kym has provided voiceovers of ethnic slurs in Chinese kung fu movies, has featured in Hello magazine, and helps small children build big tents during her lunch break. Occasionally, she treads water for three days in a row. She can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, cooks 30-minute pasta in 20 minutes and likes taking long walks through wet grass. She is an expert in fire walking, number one in her field for balancing small tin monkeys on her shoulders, and an outlaw in Sarawak. Using only a spoon and a small bottle of insect repellent, she once single-handedly defended a small village in the Indonesian rainforests from a horde of ferocious fire ants. When she’s bored, she builds websites for small people with no hands. On Thursdays, after work, she repairs electrical appliances free of charge. She has eaten crocodile. She is an abstract watercolour artist, a fan of Route master buses, and a ruthless bookie. She doesn’t perspire. She once toured America with a skydiving wind tunnel demonstration carrying nothing but a hanky and a small bag of nuts. Children trust her. She can hurl hockey sticks at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. She once read Love and war, Pride & Prejudice, and the Beano in one day and still had time to cook dinner for 10 that night.

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