I began my clubbing career many moons ago in the stomping grounds of Club UK in Wandsworth, until one too many deaths forced it to close. Sigh. I've mellowed since those days when it was all about Detroit techno and though I still love it hard and fast (as the actress said to the bishop) I can also be found shimmeying around to trance and dirty house.

What's most important is being surrounded by smiley happy people. Anyone who's seen me out will know my main accessory is a huge grin from ear to ear. I've got no time for people who spend the night with a face like a smacked arse.

What else? Umm, I'm old enough to know better, I live in Southampton and I'm currently loving the glorious Rob Tissera (swoon), everything Tidy Boys, scampi nik naks and firemen (it's something to do with the rubber wellies). I've also developed a worrying habit of loosing all my possessions and showing my pants (in no particular order). So those of you were fortunate enough to repeatedly find lots of money and stuff in Slinky at the Opera House, it's me you need to thank!

I've posted 188 comments, 2,720 live chat messages, and I've been spotted 202 times.