Goofy Frank took a friend driving on a narrow mountain road. After a while the friend said, “I feel very scared whenever you go around one of those sharp bends.”
“Then do what I do,” said Frank, “close your eyes.”
John was driving his pickup down a country lane when suddenly a chicken darts out into the road in front of him. He's just about to slam on his brakes to avoid the chicken when he realizes that the chicken has sped on ahead doing about 30 miles per hour.
Amazed, he sped up to follow, but the chicken takes off faster and faster. Finally the chicken screeches into a turn and goes into a small farm. As he turns to follow, John notices that the chicken has three legs. He pulls to a stop in front of the farmhouse, and looking around, notices that ALL the chickens have three legs.
He says to the farmer, "Three-legged chickens? That's astounding!"
The farmer replies, "Yep, I bred 'em that way -- I love drumsticks."
John: "Well, tell me, how does a three-legged chicken taste?"
Farmer: "Dunno, haven't been able to catch one yet."
Q: Why did the farmer get a Nobel Prize?
A: He was outstanding in his field!
A man walking down the street noticed a small boy trying to reach the doorbell of a house. Even when he jumped up, he couldn't quite reach it.The man decided to help the boy, walked up on to the porch and pushed the doorbell. He looked down at the boy, smiled and asked, "What now?"
The boy answered, "Now we run like crazy!"
When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter.
"What are you doing?" his mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained."I'm looking for the seal."
A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when a little old lady taps him on his shoulder. She offers him a handful of almonds, which he gratefully munches up.
After approx.15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of almonds. She repeats this gesture about eight times.
At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth, they are not able to chew them. "Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady Answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."
Fred:- My Superduperhero!! Hey u!! :oD Me better 2day :o) Hant really bin up 2 much as usual but me's gunna waffle on about nuttin! LOL!! Me was reading about Michael Mctinyre in an interview sumwhere an me found out thats he's 33 8o/ younger than me, me is not impressed!! LOL!! He looks at least 40 me finks!! :o) Watched 1st parts of Paradox an Gavin an Stacey, theyre really gud! :o) Aaron was talking 2 me about his school hot dinners an he was goin on about stripey carrots an crusty potatoes :o/ an me was trying 2 fink of wot he ment..........crinkle cut carrots an roast potatoes!! LOL!! Oo me ave found sum wheat free mince pies. Woohoo!! Means me can ave sumfing nice for xmas 4 a change!! :o) Me was walking home in the rain 2day afta work an wen me got home me had got wet feet :o/ means me need new work shoes!! Me will ave 2 ask 4 them 4 xmas instead of Rhod Gilbert dvd..........they wont b as funny will they?! LOL!! An the heatings gone rong so tis even colder in this bloody house!! LOL!! Have 2 take a hot water bottle wiv me 2bed!! :o) Have bin looking at sum Homemedics back massagers, they look gud, me will have 2 save 4 it!! :o) Now Sat nite, me is gunna b at the downstairs bar inbetween 4-5, meet yoos there if yoos can make it? Pwease!! Fingertips!! :oD Me's glad ur havin a wicked time, was gr8 last year wen me went, was gr8 fun in amongst the youngsters!! LOL!! Me know me is wiv yoo all the time :o) me ment physically!! Hopefully v.soon!! :oD Have a gud week an w.end an me cs ya Sat nite!! Me's deffo b at the bar!! :o) Msg nxt Mon! Loves ya me do, Ur Angel xx 6days 2 go....woohoo!! :oD xx
Okidoke sum stoof abart moi.........
..............Im Ellen, El, Ellie or E.P, depending on who u r!! :o) Im 29+5! Still in me 20's that way!! ;o) LOL!! Have always loved hardcore! Mostly Raverbaby stuff! Love dancing and being in my own little perfect world on the dancefloor where me can b where no-one can hurt me!! Nearly always have a smile on my face wot eva life throws at me, unless ive got a cob on LOL but thats not v.often....honest!! :o)
Music me in2:-
1 Hardcore.......basically nefing cheesy+bouncy, puts a big smile on me face and wiv words, so me can sing along 2 it.......loudly!! LOL!!
2 Old Skool......same as Hardcore really...as me old :o/ me remember the old stuff!! LOL!!
3 Freeform.......nefing by Kevin Energy, Sharkey, AMS and K-Complex!!
4 Hard House/Hard Dance....Tidy Boys, Andy Whitby and Cally and Juice
5 Trance........Paul Oakenfold, Tiesto, Paul Van Dyk, Agnelli and Nelson and Marco V!
6 Hip Hop and RnB...Timbaland, Magoo, 2pac, Ciara, Aaliyah, Missy Elliot, 50 Cent, One Republic, Justin Timberlake and Brandy!!
7 Nefing wiv BASS or drums in it, me absolutely love it!! Love it, love it, me tell ya!! ;op LOL!!
Fav DJ's r:- Hixxy, Recon, Squad-E, Darren Styles, Supreme and Sunset Regime and SY and Unknown!!
Fav Mc's r:- Whizzkid's my NO1 :oD, Storm's a close second :op and all the other Mc's, as they all have special qualities which they bring into there own in hardcore which makes them great in their own unique ways!! :o)
Fav Events r:- Raverbaby, HTID, Uproar, Ravers Reunited, Westfest and Hardcore Heaven!!
Ravin Buddies r:- Briggsy, Charlzie, Peter, John, Adam, Loopy Lin, Guidance, Kels-bells, Burdy and all the Wisbech Rollaz, Martin-htid-B, hardcore2angel and HardcoreManic-Rt2G!! Mates for Life!! :o)
I've posted , 8 live chat messages, and I've been spotted 165 times.
Music I listen to: Hard Trance, Hardcore, Old Skool Hardcore, Hip Hop, R&B
Places I visit: London, Birmingham, Leicester, Nottingham, Norwich, Swindon, Peterborough, Ipswich, Northampton, Cambridge, Shrewsbury, King's Lynn, Milton Keynes, Skegness