Okay guys,

So last year, we asked you to post up your best blag for the Creamfields doorman to let you in. This year, our awesome friends at Cream are giving you the chance to take 5 mates VIP to Cream @ Amnesia, Ibiza on a date of your choosing. Saving you and your mates nearly £500 off door entry for one of the best VIP views offered in clubland!!


This time we play complete role reversal, and put you in the shoes and clobber of the power-trippy doorman!

So forget the blags! This time we want you to come up with the best reason that you as a doorman might decide to turn a clubber away. Our favourite one will be getting our super-amazing prize!!!

Rules:

- Our decision is final
- If two people say the same comment, the one that posted first will win
- You must be able to get to Amnesia, ibiza on your chosen night, and the offer only applies to a Cream event.
- To access the VIP area in Amnesia, you have to be decently dressed. No three-quarter-lengths or shorts, and you must be IN the venue before 1am
- We may add any rules at any time

So let the games begin!!

Doorman: Sorry, but there's no way you can come in here.
Woman: Why ever not?
Doorman: We don't allow animals in the club I'm afraid.
Woman: This is my boyfriend though!
Doorman: I was talking to your boyfriend.

Doorman: Sorry, not tonight mate.

Bloke: Why not?

Doorman: Because you see that mate? *points to badge*.
That says SECURITY which means licensed.. to be... a cunt. So tonight, I'm choosing to ruin someone's night, and you my friend are that lucky someone. So congratulations.... and fuck off!!

Doorman None of you are coming into night!!!

Gang For what reason Mate?? We only got here today and want to rock this place!!!

Doorman Exactly my reason folks.....come back when you have a sunkissed tan and dont look like ghosts!!!!

Gang Right whole day on beach tomorrow guys....SEE YOU TOMORROW!! :-)

Doorman All my days...WTF?? Please tell me you are joking when you expect to be let in like that??

Person I dont get whats wrong :-S

Doorman Whats right...In fact I just dont like the look of you tonight....Maybe come back next week and try again.....i AM NOT ON THE DOOR NEXT WEEK

Sorry folks you wouldnt guess I wanted the tickets so badly would you??
So parden my awful jokes...tryto make them as funny as possible for you!!!! :-)

I need some inspiration now I think.....

Doorman NO!!! NOOOO and NOOOOO!!!!!

Clubber No what?

Doorman You aint coming in here!!!!

Clubber WHY???? I have been waiting for this night for months!!!

Doorman Because I feel like saying NO!!!!! I have been nice all eveningso NO NO and NO again!!!! And plus it is now 2 mins past 1am!!! Good night

Doorman Sorry you cant go in mate!!

Man Why?? All my mates are in there!!!

Doorman Well they must have looked Special....this club is for special people only and you just dont look special enough. SORRY!!!

Doorman: sorry, but no, not tonight
person: Why not?
Doorman: im in a bad mood, the misses wont put out and im incredibly frustrated.
person: perhaps i can help out with that ive been told i have perfect blow job lips?
Doorman: perhaps you could... if you were female...









...actually fuck it, make it quick.

Group of chavvy lads reach the front of the queue.

Doorman: "Sorry guys not tonight."

Pikey: "Ehhhhhh what?! Why the hell not?"

Doorman: "Because you'll probably gang rape the 15yr old girls i've just let in, and that's the DJs and promoters job."

haha rach, ive just spilled my drink laughing at that!

Doorman: You can't come in

Bloke: Why fucking not?

Doorman: Because you have a machete in you bag


* Popular London club - three people in front of me in the queue a couple of years ago.

Doorman: if your names not down yer not coming in
man: my name is down, they call me the Judge, like milk in the sun... ...we are going off!
Doorman: sorry mate never heard of you.
man: the Judge, Judge Jules ive got it wrapped like cling film, radio 1 super star DJ, Giving you more crash than global share values
Doorman: er, right... can we get a taxi for mr Judge please, he's clearly had to much already

Doorman Sorry boys I have to refuse you entry tonight!!!

Lads Why we are over 18 (infact we are 35)!!!

Doorman My point exactly Guys!!!

LadsIt's the grab a granny night for 18 to 25 year olds.....So you are to OLD!!!

Doorman Sorry you are not going to be able to come in tonight folks!!!

Group Well you cant say we offend your mirror we are all gorgeous.....:-)

Doorman Yes....and it is our one night where we have a Uglies only night...gotta give thwm one night of FUN!!!!!

Group WTF????

Doorman And where do you think you are going....get back out there!!!

Chav You have no right to say that....I am going in!!!!

Doorman HAHAHAHA you are funny mate...try reading NO CHAV's allowed and you the chavviest person I have seen alnight.....YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK GOODBYE!!!!!!

Jason can you just give me and Cyberstar a few tickets each as we are the only ones playing this game.

and a couple of others....but think we should have something just for trying..even if badly lol :-)

Doorman (kickin like a mule): Sorry, you're names not down, you're not coming in
Lad: Really? I think you'll find it is!
*gets out wallet, shows drivers licence to doorman*
Doorman: 'Dan Down' - very funny, fuck off!

Doorman NOWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP RIGHT THERE!!!!!

Couple We are sorry!!! WHY??

Doorman I have let my quoter of over 30 OAP's in for tonight, we need some young blood in there now...you need to be here at opening folks!!!!

Couple You having a LAUGH OAP>>>we're only BLOODY 35 you cheeky beggar

Doorman: Sorry cant let you in...

Bloke: Why not?

Doorman: Company policy: We dont admit inbreds.

Bloke: **** off you ****....

Doorman: HEY!!!! ..... Its not my fault your brothers your dad

Doorman: ( grins as he see's a stag do bunch dressed as strawberries approaching the club ) Sorry you won't be coming in here tonight lads.

Strawberry 1 : What! Why not?

Doorman : No fancy dress allowed here in Amnesia!

Strawberry 2 : No way!! We came all this way for a bit of cream!!