After a short snooze made bearable by the excellent air conditioning in our lovely room at the restyled Hotel Garbi, Gee and I are soon up again for antics. We’ve met the great man himself and we’re now going to see him, live, performing at the world’s biggest club. It’s the opening night tonight and it’s the show everyone’s talking about all round Ibiza. When you think that the club has a ten thousand capacity you can begin to imagine how Tiesto is the buzzword on everyone’s lips. There seems to be natural fit to the situation, the King of DJs holding court to his loyal subjects at the world’s largest club.

We’re on a money saving tip so we decide to get the bus to the club with the rest of the holidaymakers. Beer and cigarettes plug the time as we wait for the transport to arrive. I sit back and relax and think how great it is to be able to smoke inside again and reach for my pint with a handle. If I shut my eyes and don’t think of the heat I could be in a pub back when British pubs were good, like in 1989.

The bus soon arrives and people swarm around the door like bees around a mobile phone mast. You’d be forgiven for finding a parallel with London transport as the bus fills up fast than Peaches Geldof’s snatch at a B-list Heat party. However, the similarities soon end as an assertive club rep makes sure nearly everyone who needs to get on the bus, gets on the bus. Gee squeezes in a couple of rows down and I sit next to an Irish Surgeon. The bus is full of different cultures and languages, so wide is the appeal of Tiesto, you’ve got every culture and race represented here.

Soon the bus pulls up to the gates of Privilege and we offload like a chav squirting his muck on amphetamine sulphate. There is a genuine buzz in the atmosphere, an almost palatable anticipation as we walk down the road to the club. It’s the same club as we went to in the afternoon but in some way it’s different. The Ibiza fairy has sprinkled her pixie dust over the entire club and lined every surface with her magic moxy tricking you back to that feeling you had the first time you ever went clubbing.

We get to the entrance and we’re given press passes to the party; just so we can see into every area. Then we’re in. This is the most difficult part that I’ve got to write to this review because this is where I have to tell you what Privilege is like. I can’t. You simply have to see it to believe it; grandiose, magnificent, on a scale like which you have never seen. To try to explain the sheer magnitude of this place would be impossible. Take the biggest club you’ve ever been to and multiply it by fifty and you might be coming close, then imagine every single square foot in the place pulsing with the same unified tempo of suntans and summertime sweat. Small stages and swimming pools break the massive space into sections, adding to the epic feel. Podiums crammed with smiling faces, secret staircases and outside terraces lined with the beautiful people, leaning back and relaxing with the easy chat.

Tiesto is the conductor of this sophos. Sophos is the opposite of chaos. Think of chaos like a thousand different voices shouting at each other. Sophos is a thousand different voices all shouting as one. Or try ten thousand and you’ve got an idea of the harmony he’s exuded. His fingers, through the decks, down the kilometres of cable, sparking into the massive sound system; the energy of the pure trance drives the darkness of silence out of every corner and drives through the glorious austere beautiful bright light of sound.

A video wall at the front of the club dominates the ubiquitous vista. A video wall so massive the pixels spill around the stage dancers making them look like computer generated angels of unrequited desire. In the centre of the stage Tiesto dances and seduces the crowd until they’re putty in his hands. Think of the energy needed to even stand up straight for 6 hours, Tiesto’ rocking and raving the club for 6 hours. His physical state and raw energy a testament to his dedication to the art. It’s like some new age exodus to a spiritual place that only exists within his music. His charge, his vision, a standard bearer of noise leading the faithful to the plateau of bliss.

Gee and I take in the sound, sight and feel to the club. It’s near impossible to wipe the grins of our faces as we stand at the bar sipping iced drinks and watching the mayhem unfold in front of us. Dan from the Ibiza Spotlight sidles over to us and smirks with cheeky knowingness. He asks me how I’m finding the night and I just laugh a little laugh and shake my head. Dan simply nods. He knows he’s done the business and has taken me, a Typhoid Mary of verbal diahorrea, and shut me up. My number is totally owned as the greatest complement an orator like me can give is being lost for words. Ibiza Spotlight know their parties and they know how to impress. They’ve really done the business getting us down here tonight.

I always use this cliched phrase when I interview DJs. “Let the music speak for itself”; there’s no way I can put music into words. However, it would be unfair of me to mention that moment of the night that defined everything in a gorgeous rush of smiles and hands pushing up the sky. A soulful remix of the classic Sweet Harmony with a new vocal slams across the floor lifting the crowd. It’s one of those moments where the magic of the memory will sit ingrained on the fabric of my soul for the rest of my life. As I sit here writing this piece I can almost feel like I’m back there. Looking at Gee’s face smiling at me then smiling at everyone, as Privilege smiles back at us.

As the night draws to a close we hook up with local DJ Alex Myles, a character on the island with more connections Canary Wharf. He tells us that the club have had to send some three to four thousand people away from the club tonight. As an Ibiza veteran for many years, even during the fabled Manumission era of Privilege, he claims he’s never seen the venue packed out like it has been tonight. As we leave the venue in the sanctity of Alex’s hatchback I recline and realise we’ve been to something special tonight. Where were you the time the world’s biggest DJ met the worlds biggest club and got married in a union of bliss and timbre, and went off on a honeymoon like only lovers can…

You can find more details on the stunning Hotel Garbi here, and buy tickets for upcoming Tiesto gigs at privilage on Ibiza-spotlight here.