Sometimes things happen to us that have an impact on us for the rest of our lives, a discovering of new emotions or even a knowing clarity that (for that moment, which always seems to last forever) allows us to see the truth around us. Sometimes these realisations are spiritual, sometimes they're just the physical body crying for help. In most cases we expirience expiriences both at the same time, especially when it comes to narcotic abuse. But is it all real or is it only the mind playing back recording from deep within the soul?

This is my story....

My name is Darko and I have been shown the way to Thamkrabok by an old
friend of mine called. I am a 30yr old addict (most were wasted on weed and LSD, and the last 6 was spent on cocaine) wanting soo badly to quit! And it's
only now that I have seen a way from my suffering.

For so long I have been stuck under this dark cloud which has consumed
my life for the past 15yrs. At times I feel full of life, but the rest
of the time I feel deppressed, unhappy and unwilling. So to suppress
those feelings I feel that I need to consume more coke so that I could
function, but that doesn't work anymore. Infact the only thing it
allows me to do is feel normal whilst numbing/killing the pain in my
nose for a short period where I am left free to concentrate on more
important matters for that day. Yeah, RIGHT !!! It's making it worse
and for the last 2 yrs I have been living a life of denial and
disrespect for my life and everything related.

I have tried 3 times to quit on my own, in CA meetings and councelling.
I even went as far as researching clinics near me where I could detox,
but they didn't feel right to me. I have to remove myself from my
routine where I can be left alone to detoxify my body, my mind and my
spirit. Every time before has been a faliour, why? Because I didn't
want to quit, I wasn't ready, yet in my head I thought I was. Why do I
think this will be different? If I don't give up now i'll loose
everything and i'll be lost, possibly even die sooner rather then
later, this is not the life path I seek.

I hope to be in Thamkrabok before Christmas as for me it's the worst
part of the year for my addiction. I am looking forward to this, for
once in my life I prove to myself that I can beat this, for good!

Thamkrabok is a Buddhist monstary located 100 miiles noth of Bankok, Thailand. They're world famous for the onsite drug rehab/detox clinic, even won awards for their work. Why am I telling you all this? No reason really, but this information is useful, you might need it one day.

I just hope that my story can inspire others to look at themselves and see that there is hope for them too. I have been deeply touched by this and have arranged to go out there on the 20th December 2005. The minimum treaatment is 10 days to a maximum of one month (30 days), afterwhich those that choose to stay on can do so, with permission from the Abbot.

In my case i'm not too sure what i'm to expect, all I know is that my soul, whom i'm trying to connect with, is showing me the path I must take inorder to conncect with myself. The journey I know will be hard, but not as hard as it would be if I chose to carry on down the path with drugs. So really it's a simple yet easy choice for me to make at this time in my life, so why was it so hard in the past?

One knows when the time is right and in a strange way it all seems so easy to do. It's like devine intervention had helped me see which path is the way for me, and luckily I saw the signs and heard the voices whisper into the depths of my heart "It's time to wake up Darko."

And in my awakening I have seen just how much I had wasted, but time has passed and the future is unclear, so now is the pressent, and that's all I need to be concious of, the NOW!

Some may think it's a bit strange to choose living life as a monk for a while in order to break a habbit, and this method is the only way for some. But I am not reffering to the act of becoming a monk, more to liveing life like a monk would, in the same conditions, with the same facillities and commitments that one would be required to take on, for a short period of time. To spend some time with ones own self, to study and learn aout ones demons and how to control them. To understand how a hard days work can help motivate the spirit into acheiving more then you had possibly imagined. Life is too short and if the drugs don't work then why take them? My beleife is that I am extreamly lucky to be here today with sane mind (or so I hope), and in choosing to give up drugs and live life I may oneday bbe able to enjoy life to it's fullest capacity.

My journey starts on Tuesday 20th December 2005 and when I return I will share my expiriences for all to read.

METTA to all,

Darko