Yes-Abuse Spoon are a great new group destined for stardom

Actually, it's not Kate, its Shandi here, still logged in as Kate.

What a great name for a band: Abuse Spoon or it could be Abuse Spoon Danglers?

First single "Spank me with your kitchen implement" now out on general release!

Is it a Jazz Mime track?

*** BAND UPDATE ***
Band memeber Adam King has been given a 2 month banning from the group after he was found to be having a steamy kitchen appliance affair with the kettle. Suspicions where raised when spatula player marie caught adam with his pants down caressing the kettle. marie said:

"I just walked into the kitchen to find adam touching the buttons of the kettle and saying whos a dirty kettle"

Spoon player Aaron was also suspicious that Dan was having an affair with the Toaster, It was later found that the two where indeed bound in holy maturamony.

***Showbiz News***

Rumour has it that Psychedelic Spoon Strummer, AKA Fool of jazz-mime sensation Abuse Spoon, has checked himself into re-munt, following a WILD horlicks fueled weekend of cribbage & cross-stitch. A close pal of the band told Fab Magazine that the other band members cannot COPE with his ANTICS any longer and there has been discussion of replacing him on their forthcoming 'MFI' tour, with former Bronski Beat spooner Geoff Whisks.

Keep reading Fab for the latest Abuse Spoon stories!

***Shallow gossip exclusive!!***
Marie Burdett, glockenspiel player and part-time yoghurt fancyer to the stars, has been spotted with the toaster in a swankey Skegness restaurant. They were followed making their way together to her hotel room, and neither came out until the following morning whereupon Marie was caught trying to straighten her 'electrified' hair and the toaster tried to make a hurried escape to the local Curry's store where it is rumoured he was trying to hide amongst the stock. In a tearful interview, Marie later revealed all "It was at the age of 12 when I began to view the toaster as more than just a family friend. I was making some midnight toast and ended up making sweet electrical love. I was heartbroken when I found out about toastie's affair with band member Dan so decided to re-kindle our relationship" Dan too, is said to be beside himself with woe and anguish. The band however still aim to continue their tour of local dogging sites. Watch this space...

Abuse Spoon to split????

Get tomorrow's Daily Slag for the inside scoop!

When are you guys on tour anyway?

Can I get back-passage VIP tickets? Sorry back-stage.

Yeah will email them to you mate

Super!

He he that's hilaroius. I think we need publishing/sacking/drowning

Love ya!!;) Some people call it spamming, I call it creativity!

See ya at band practice!

And someone really needs to get Dan near a PC!

See ya at band practice!

Banned practice more like ;) x

Any publicity is good publicity!

Oh yeh i forgot you're unwelcome - that's it you fuck off and do your solo thing!

You said that, not me! lol