Dear David - You used to be alright, but now you've turned into a cheese mongering money grabbing god awful music peddling cunt. Why is this?

How exactly do you pronounce your name? (Not the David part!)

how did you end up alligned with kelly rowland? Seems like an odd connection!

What's the best ice cream for a festival, and why?

Dear David,

What was it like working with the second 'famous' one from Destiny's Child?

dave.... what is it like having the MOST popular and most frequently used name in the uk? lol

What is the most rock and roll thing you have ever done?

Dear David, who would you consider to be the most influential person in music while you were growing up.

Quality example of a question there ^.

Having seen the new BoomBox that's going to be at this year's upcoming Global Gathering, I'd like to know what David's ultimate festival stage would involve?

Ok, my first question was a little harsh. There is a method behind what I said, and I feel I should expand a little on my grievance. I mean, Little More Love was a good record. Lopez did a quality remix, it got airplay and I didn't get sick of it, but after that it all kinda went wrong.

Love Don't Let Me Go pretty much shared the exact same bassline all bar the shouting, then it got released as mashup with that at the time quite quality Egg track (which was one of the finest examples of electro house at the time in all fairness), but once THAT hit the radio playlists and that fucking Citroen advert it got massively, massively annoying.

Chris Willis, I've never particularly liked as a vocalist anyhow, but you insisted on splashing him across damn near every track on Little More Love. Hey, I thought, maybe this trend won't continue. No. I was wrong. Out of your last three albums, Willis' incessant warblings have accounted for something like 50% of the album tracks. I understand that it might be beneficial for a DJ/producer to craft a 'sound' for themselves, but repeated bassline and vocalist repetition is pushing it a bit too far, don't you think?

Now we move onto Pop Life - Pop being the operative word in it's title. The track with the Swedish boys, fair play, is a good one and bearable (providing it never hits daytime radio). But the Kelly Rowland track is not a strong single release IMO at all, from a club standpoint; it smacks of commercialism, and for someone who (once) had such a fiercely underground reputation I'd expect better.

Lastly, the Black Eyed Peas remix. What. The. Fuck. Boom. Now, I'm not a fan of BEP in their current form - once they hired that talentless whelp Fergie and released Elephunk, it was as though their first proper albums had never existed. But we'll gloss over that for the second, and concentrate on just why you felt the need to remix this song? In their current format, it's not even a good example of BEP output. "Sizzling electro hop" is how I heard one journo describe it. Sizzling electro hop, for the love of everything that is sweet and holy. I can only assume that someone dangled a carrot for you and you took a bite. C'est la vie.

Overall, I was impressed with your early work. I think 98 I first heard one of your mixes on tape that a friend brought me in college, and at the time, being only 16 and having my ears opened to 'dance' music I did enjoy it.

But you've let the side down. Your branding, car advert soundtracks, commercial tune releases (nowhere near as bad as the way Sinclair as gone mind) and overall embracing of the mainstream house culture that dominates daytime radio and is predominant on the music channels has distanced you so far from the early level of cool.......it's a shame. A real shame.



So my question is this - financial rewards aside, do you ever wish to not be at the commercial end of house music and return to how it was; before Little More Love, before F**k Me I'm Famous, before international magazines ran special features where over opinionated keyboard warriors ask you questions......back to where you began?

Dear David - do you actually think it's acceptable to play "Baby When The Lights Go Out" in the main room at Ministry of Sound?

Dear David - would it be possible for you to go somewhere and boil your head?

Dear David - does it upset you that Kelly Rowland is taller than you?

Dear David - what's your favourite Michael Jackson song? It can't be one of your own.

Dear David,

i) Does "Fuck me I'm famous" mean "Blimey! I can't believe that I'm famous" or does it mean "Please have sex with me because I'm famous"?

ii) If the latter, is there irony involved in your choice of name?

He's French, I'm not sure he says "blimey".

It's a fair point, Rob. OK:

Cher David, mon ami, jeune homme,

i) Votre marque «Fuck me I'm famous», il y a un peu d'ambigüité dans le nom. Est-ce que cela veut dire «Zut alors! Putain! C'est incroyable que je sois aussi connu que ça!» ou est-ce que le nom siginife «Baise-moi tout de suite, sale pute. Je suis énormément connu et j'ai envie de jouir maintenant!»?

ii) Si le 2ème, j'espère que vous avez un sens d'humeur ou t'aura l'air un peu con quoi.

Now you're just showing off!

unbelieveable

i now like you even less

How does it feel to have a name which is an anagram of 'Add vague tit' and 'A Diva... Gutted!'?