Firstly – hello! It’s been quite a while since we’ve caught up with you and quite a while since the Slinky ones and twos have had a beating ‘Kutski Styleee’.

Now I’m going to go a bit topical in this interview… as everyone will know August plays host to Slinky vs. Tidy, the official Slinky warm up for our room at the Tidy Weekender number 12 – The Weekender Strikes Back, so I’m going to pre warn you to brush up on your star wars knowledge… and google isn’t allowed (that’s cheating)

*Kutski loads google…*

First things first: Are you excited about coming back to play at Slinky at it’s new home of Liquid in Portsmouth? Do you lie awake at night thinking about it?

Yes, it will be good!!! I saw the video you sent me, and it looked wicked!!! Fair play to who ever was behind the camera as he/she was chasing some hot pieces of fluff around the club!!! It did look like a really nice venue, so I am excited to see what the crack is!

I just received my bright shiny new copy of Helter Skelter presents Hardcore 2007 – The New Generation this morning, which many may or may not know you mixed a disc for (it’s very good by the way) and were also on a TV advert for, so not only have you made it into every major club across the UK and indeed around the world… you’ve also made it into our living rooms! How does it feel to be a television star? Do you have young girls mobbing you in the street? Was Mrs Kutski proud?

Glad you finally received the CD! I thought I was going to have another trip to the independent claims office for missing parcels… I would hardly say a 2 second clip on an advert is being a TV star, but as its you that’s said it, yes, it’s amazing!!! I can finally smoke a cigar without looking like as much of a twat, and I’ve been sticking a big gold star on the toilet doors in clubs so it feels like I’m going back stage when I gotta take a shit!!

Unfortunately I still don’t have mobs of young girls after me as they’re still all chasing Whitby!! (Share them out bro… don’t be selfish!)

By Mrs Kutski, I assume you mean my ma, as you know I live a celibate lifestyle, she was very proud!!

I don’t think I can let an interview with you go by without bringing up your infamous mix tapes… the newest one is the most listened to CD here at Slinky HQ, quite frankly… we love it. How did you first come up with the concept of such a cross over of styles?

I dunno really!? It’s just something I’ve always done!! I never like pinning things down to one specific genre as it gets boring!!! Also I listen to a lot of different music and DJ’s so I get influenced / inspired by other people which gives me ideas to do different stuff myself…

I’m gonna ask you to briefly brush up on your Star Wars knowledge cause we have made a little bit of a pop quiz for you:

Who was Luke Skywalker’s father?
Anakin Skywalker

Han and Leia end up having 3 children, true or false?No, it turned out them Light Sabre’s gave out a hell of a lot of radiation which left poor Han as sterile as a newborn baby’s bottle!

Oota Goota, Solo?
Oota Goota what now? Are you on crack again?? Step back from the pipe…

What powers a Jedi's strength?
Manweb

What was Star Wars Episode 2 called?
Attack of the Clones

Who made the following quote: “Powerful you have become, the dark side I sense in you”?The ickle green chap, Yoda!

What is a Wookiee?
A “Star Wars” Wookiee, or a “I’m stroking my Wookiee” Wookiee?? I’ll go with the furry guys…

Obviously we mean the "Star Wars" Wookie... what with it being a Star Wars pop quiz!!… But i’ll give your brain a rest from Star Wars for now, however we have another test for you… we call it ‘the scouse test’. All you have to do is answer the following questions honestly…

You find £20 on the floor next to a collection plate in a church… Do you…

a) Put it in the collection plate, you’re sure that’s where it was meant to be anyway?
b) Grab the £20 and run as fast as you can shouting ‘ALL HAIL SATAN’?
c) Set fire to the church?
d) Other
To be totally honest I would probably do an “a)” and put it back in.

You see an old lady with lots of shopping bags trying to cross a busy street.
Do you…

a) Help her across the road and offer to carry her shopping for her until she is safely on the other side?
b) Offer to carry her bags for her but when she hands them over run like the wind?
c) Set fire to her and push her in front of a car?
d) Other

Kym, You really are quite twisted… I probably wouldn’t do anything, just go about my business… with old people, you give an inch, they take a mile… if I offered to help her cross the road I’d be cleaning leaves out of a gutter in 2 hours time…

You decide to pimp out your new pad with brand new furniture… Do you…

a) Save up your hard earned pennies and buy it from Ikea?
b) Sign on for 6 months and buy it from Wilkos?
c) Steal all your neighbour’s furniture and burn his house down?
d) Other

b)! Fuck working for it and fuck Ikea’s carpark!!

You really are quite scouse aren't you!!

You’ve been a radio one presenter for quite some time now, which is quite an achievement for a (excuse the term) ‘hard dance DJ’… for those who haven’t had a chance to listen to your show yet, tell them a bit about it…

Basically it’s me, jabbering on about crap, playing everything from Hard Tech / House / Dance / Trance / Style from UK and around the world… Hardcore, Freeform, Breakbeat (Breakcore), Gabba… a bit of D’nB and so on…

We have guests from all the mentioned scenes from “A-listers” to “up-n-comings”, on the phone and passing through the studio!!! It really is all good fun

What can we expect from you at the forthcoming Slinky event?

Naked limbo

Anything else going on you feel we should all know about? Give yourself a plug (in a strictly non sexual way)….

I’m shit at plugging myself in a sleazy marketed DJ stylee so, please just buy the new Hardcore 2007 CD, listen to Radio 1 (2nd Fri night / Sat morning of the month 2-4am), and come and see me at Slinky and I’ll be a happy bunny!!

Also keep you ear to the ground for the next Kutski mixtape, it won’t be any immediate time soon, but it will be worth the wait!!

(You can feel the excitement mounting at Slinky HQ)

Before we draw this interview to a close, we have to give you the quick-fire that we give all of our DJ’s…

Daddy or Chips?

Chips with daddy sauce… (DON’T SAY ANYTHING KYM OR ALICE… Filthy minds…)

Slinky or Tidy?

The correct answer is both, so I’ll go with neither!! Muhuhahahaaaa…

Kym or Alice?

We could all fit in a double, none of us are fat!

Hard House or Hardcore?

“Hard Dance” (covering all harder dance styles)

After party or bed?

I’d say 75% bed if I’m driving, 75% after party if I’m not…

Pink or Brown?

Whatever I can get

Lost or CSI?

Lost

CD’s or Vinyl?

Vinyl, but it’s just not happening these days

Right… the grilling is over!! Thanks for the interview and see you on 10th August!!